"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." - T. S. Eliot
And so ends this tale. This journey to a new Mecca. The dust slowly settling in those mountains and in our minds. We return with new eyes, tinted by our experiences and full of spark.
We bring the playa back with us…in the way we see, the way we interact; our world view has shifted dramatically and irreversibly. If you were paying attention, little one, you would have noticed somewhere along the way everything flipped. Existence was taken and turned on its side. The rules have changed. What you do with that knowledge is now up to you.
You have been given a chance to see that we do not simply ‘live’ in this world. No. We make this world. We have the power to shape our own reality into whatever it is we wish. Life is not a spectator sport. It belongs to those who dive forwards, headlong into the unknown.
Life is possibility. Potential. Infinite. It is bursting with promise and joy, laughter, heartache, beauty and pain. It is full.
YOU are full.
Bubbling, simmering, aching to break free and spread your wings. To soar.
So we reach the end. But really, ends are simply the faint call of new beginnings. If you look past the dark, open your eyes and dry your tears, you can just barely hear it…echoes across time and space. There are wondrous things out there, just beyond the horizon.
It’s time to explore. To be free. To begin.
"The Ouroboros represents the perpetual cyclic renewal of life, and infinity, the eternal return, and represents the cycle of life, death and rebirth, leading to immortality, as in the phoenix.
It can also represent the idea of primordial unity related to something existing in or persisting before any beginning with such force or qualities it cannot be extinguished”
The burn was spectacular. There is an ultimate moment of camaraderie and cohesion during this cacophony of flame. When the perimeter guards drop back and allow the crowd to surge forward as if to touch the very primal gods that called them to this place, and you find yourself awash in an electrified sea of humanity. The release of energy in that moment is palpable. All of the tension and arguments and difficulties up to this point are blown out of you like a punch straight to the heart, throat and gut.
Smoke fills your vision as you join the masses in a slowly rotating vortex around the effigy. A few of the crazy-brave break off to run laps impossibly close to the fire. It’s the closest thing you can get to experiencing a world-sized oven. You shuffle, lost in shining eyes and waves of dust and smoke. This becomes your reality for a brief time. Sweat, skin, laughter, hugs, and an immense glow over your shoulder as if the universe itself was melting around you.
It is surreal. Beautiful. Awesome in a sense of the word you never quite considered humanly possible. Awesome in a sense that you are awed. That this is something special and wholly alien to the world you have journeyed from.
You’ve made it. We all have. And now we are here together, as one in spirit and strength. We have made this happen that will never happen again. At least not quite like this. And in the making we learn to love and let go. To understand that the beauty is in the process and the shared experience, not the end result. That in order to love freely we must let go freely as well.
And so we burn.
One of the most beautiful sights I witnessed that week was the view from deep playa back towards the Temple of Transition. It’s difficult to judge the distance one has traveled without some sort of visual reference, so when I turned and looked back the way I’d come it struck me just how vast the city really is. That was the first realization I had. The enormity of my journey come to fruition here, in this place, after many many years of chance, circumstance, and opportunity aligning perfectly to produce this moment.
As I reflected on this I noticed the tracks crisscrossing the dust in every direction. Tens of thousands of them, as far as the eye could see. Out away from the city proper the ground is dry and cracked, showing traces of every footprint and bicycle tire. There is no loose dust to cover the marks and everyone’s path is laid out before you like a map of their time in this place. Choices, decisions, one goes this way, one goes that. Each path no worse or better than another. Simply different. All of these paths intersecting in space, but not in time. Reminds me of the Book we just visited. A crossroads to leave your mark on the world. Say something to those you will never cross paths with at the same moment in time.
"Your choices are half chance, but so are everybody else’s."
All you can really do is choose, and accept your choices. But you do have to make choices. That part’s not optional. Be mindful of them, because every choice makes ripples in life. Listen to your heart and the waves you make will always ring true.
My new cartwheeling companion and I set off for deep playa. Now, when someone gives you directions to some spectacle outside of the city proper it’s usually in reference to one of the main roads leading to the man at 3 o’clock, 6 o’clock and 9 o’clock. Anything past that the best you can get is ‘walk to the edge of civilization, and keep going.’ It’s an odd sensation going from a ‘place’ in the middle of nothing, to the *actual* middle of nothing. These are the Outlands. Limbo. Occasional landmarks dot the emptiness, like a series of bizarre mirages. The only difference is that movie theater advertising spaghetti westerns at 2am? Very much there. I hear they even serve Red Vines.
Red and I stumble across a set of gates surrounding a podium. On the podium there is a large book full of blank pages, and a handful of pens and markers. ‘The Book of Missed Connections’. The pages are full of drawings, sentiments, gibberish, notes, replies, inspiration and observations. We spend a few minutes leafing through these fragments of people’s experiences in this place. Some sad, some celebratory, all heartfelt. There is something about the act of putting your emotions down in such an artifact, like you’re leaving a sticky note on the fridge of the universe. It has meaning. Significance.
I gather myself and say my piece, calling out to the companions who were unable to make this wondrous journey with me. In doing so I feel I’ve done their spirits justice. Brought a little of them here and sent a little of the dust back to them. It’s a small thing, but small things have more power than we know.